Stories


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Cheryl

Now I am old man, discovering that when Sasquatch left me. She moved to the Oregon woods. Didn't leave me so much as she wanted to live in the woods. I tried to live there and had systemic in the blood stream Poison Oak for two months. Turns out you don't have to go roll in it. Any house pet can bring it in and get it all over the furniture, and it is completely invisible. So I started thinking. I am sixty-seven years old. How am I ever going to get a woman now ? That's when it occurred to me - I am old. Well it is two years later and I still haven't found a woman. I have answered dozens of ads on Craigslist over the last couple of years. Had some partial success but usually go right over their heads intellectually and they stop writing. Did get one date but wasn't attracted. Could have had another affair but decided against it - as too geographically distant. There was the beautiful Chinese woman but she didn't speak English that well. It occurred to me that I couldn't afford to travel so it had to be someone close to home. Problem there - no ads from close to home. Around here everybody is married.

What am I looking for ? The first problem is my negatives. My age, my smoking, no money, extremely intellectual, ringing ears and can't be around loud noise, have Fibromyalgia, allergic to perfume and ten years to live. Who would want such a guy? Turns out no one thus far, and two years later still nothing. But for me it seems not worth the effort, what with the complete freedom. The only problem being lonely, and that's the dilemma. Anyway looks like a girlfriend would be 'whoever would have me'.

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